can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize