You work out of a Hotel?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
