turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
how drunk are you?
Several
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
