I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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