once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
