I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
