We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
