if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
