Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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