Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
