She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Someone signed my nipple.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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