Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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