I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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