I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
