we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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