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dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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