i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
They have beer where we have blood.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
