How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
