You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
