wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
