Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
