We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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