anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize