In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize