I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm determined to sit on that face.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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