dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
