All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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