Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Randomize
