i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
