im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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