Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

You really coming over, don't trick.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML

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(317): View more from Indiana

It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece

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(203): View more from Connecticut

First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning

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(314): View more from Missouri

Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night

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(301): View more from Maryland

Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it

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(231): View more from Michigan

He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.

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