Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
