That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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