Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
