Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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