Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .

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  (330): I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia . http://tfl.nu/fovz
  Replies (12) Good night (1526) Bad night (2317)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.

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  (845): Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes. http://tfl.nu/5scb
  Replies (44) Good night (1207) Bad night (1681)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone

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  (601): i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone http://tfl.nu/50pu
  Replies (13) Good night (989) Bad night (4011)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.

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  (740): well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong. http://tfl.nu/972k
  Replies (12) Good night (4551) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck

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  (610): all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck http://tfl.nu/mnqh
  Replies (49) Good night (1293) Bad night (7324)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position

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  (205): Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position http://tfl.nu/050n
  Replies (3) Good night (993) Bad night (1900)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...

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  (623): He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking... http://tfl.nu/bdfz
  Replies (5) Good night (2809) Bad night (799)
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  (518): View more from New York

  She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.

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  (518): She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands. http://tfl.nu/nkts
  Replies (5) Good night (1908) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.

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  (512): Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person. http://tfl.nu/kj3e
  Replies (5) Good night (2511) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.

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  (608): I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh. http://tfl.nu/0i8s
  Replies (17) Good night (540) Bad night (1724)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am

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  (703): The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am http://tfl.nu/d51l
  Replies (6) Good night (1708) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .

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  (304): I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved . http://tfl.nu/02ua
  Replies (3) Good night (467) Bad night (1332)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.

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  (720): FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck. http://tfl.nu/h6sm
  Replies (0) Good night (422) Bad night (243)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE

  (585): View more from New York

  AND NO VODKA

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  (585): We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE (585): AND NO VODKA http://tfl.nu/16y5
  Replies (2) Good night (255) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy

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  (978): I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy http://tfl.nu/46h5
  Replies (1) Good night (724) Bad night (247)

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