Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah

(415): View more from California

and she bought it?!?

(650): View more from California

yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes

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(650): my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah (415): and she bought it?!? (650): yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes http://tfl.nu/zwxp

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(917): View more from New York City

half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.

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(917): half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country. http://tfl.nu/tafy

Replies (262) Good night (20609) Bad night (2133)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.

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(636): I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk. http://tfl.nu/1zna

Replies (4) Good night (1306) Bad night (2491)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.

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(204): Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY. http://tfl.nu/elym

Replies (11) Good night (2826) Bad night (886)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.

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(563): I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay. http://tfl.nu/8krm

Replies (3) Good night (865) Bad night (2779)
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(239): View more from Florida

Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.

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(239): Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis. http://tfl.nu/6cer

Replies (23) Good night (1316) Bad night (5404)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka

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(913): I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka http://tfl.nu/3gfs

Replies (5) Good night (2131) Bad night (811)
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(802): View more from Vermont

If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.

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(802): If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care. http://tfl.nu/zmsa

Replies (11) Good night (1105) Bad night (1890)
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(928): View more from Arizona

its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.

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(928): its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u. http://tfl.nu/h95p

Replies (22) Good night (1456) Bad night (3875)
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(631): View more from New York

he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing

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(631): he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing http://tfl.nu/xi7n

Replies (10) Good night (1795) Bad night (1160)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?

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(519): Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar? http://tfl.nu/o2qi

Replies (21) Good night (1798) Bad night (554)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!

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(608): WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?! http://tfl.nu/0ru3

Replies (2) Good night (1746) Bad night (487)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage

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(608): and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage http://tfl.nu/5cg3

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(609): View more from New Jersey

TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help

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(609): TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help http://tfl.nu/xrr6

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(336): View more from North Carolina

We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.

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(336): We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette. http://tfl.nu/ba64

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