their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
