i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
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Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
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Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.