get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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