hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize