Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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