Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
