Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
