nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
