I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
