I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
