Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
