It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
