i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
