where am i from again
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
