I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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