he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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