apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
