Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
