if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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