remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
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You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
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Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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