he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize