so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
