I am puke
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize