Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
