Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Alive.
So much puke
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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